Toxic Friends

We’ve all had that one friend in our lives who’s toxic. The one that tends to lead us to the same crossroads over and over again. Their actions are questionable, their behavior so horrific at times we’re left scratching our heads, standing on the corner of I CARE TOO MUCH and I NEED TO WALK AWAY.

You know Negative Nancy, don’t you? Everything in the world is horrible. She’s fat, her job sucks, her kids are bad, the weather is deplorable, blah blah blah. Nothing in life is good enough. You can’t help but feel just as bad as she does after an interaction with her.

Or how about Green Eyed Gail?  She thinks that she’s been cheated out of all the great things that everyone around her has, and the only way to make herself feel better is to put others down. Her jealousy causes her to hate everyone, including you.

Mandy the Manipulator is a common personality we’ve all met before. She preys on your relationships, squeezes between you and others by telling your secrets, or gossiping about you when you’re not around. And then when she’s caught, she’s full of I’m Sorry’s, promising it won't happen again.

And then there’s Cancerous Karen. The one who makes poor choices for herself affecting those around her without knowing or caring about the consequences. She worms her way into the hearts of others, making them feel bad for her even though her problems have been caused by her own destructive nature.

We’ve all known at least one of these people, have spent precious time wasted on them. Regardless of their different traits, it all leads back to the fact that these relationships are lethal.

When we’re young, friendships are disposable. Your besties are interchangeable depending on the day and it's not that hard to leave someone behind. But we all know, as we get older this changes. It takes longer to develop relationships and it becomes even harder to turn away from them.

So how do you get yourself on the right road, walking in the opposite direction?

The fact that everybody makes mistakes is true. We all have a different threshold of tolerance. You forgive as much as you feel comfortable with. It becomes difficult though, to turn the other way when you have time invested in another person, regardless of what they’ve done. Severing ties is complicated.

And these bad relationships I’m speaking of don’t have to be with just friends. A significant other that nit picks at you, finds things wrong when nothing's there? A parent that fails to see who you really are, to support your decisions although they’ve made mistakes themselves?

These are all examples of poison being injected into your life where it's not needed.

I’ve watched a couple of people I care about go through this struggle lately. One of them is well aware that a friend she loves has fallen down a destructive rabbit hole but the other one doesn’t even see the potential pain that her friend may cause.

Some advice for them? Keep your distance. It hurts, I get it. Been there, experienced that. But it’s not worth getting caught up in their turmoil. You’ll find if you keep it simple, only apply yourself to people who love you back with the same amount of fierceness that you love them, your mind will be a much happier place.