A Guide to Realizing Your Inner Rock Star

I’ve never been what you would call a thin girl. Growing up, I was always the chubby one in my circleof friends. The only girl in a one piece bathing suit at pool parties. The one everyone gave their leftovers to because if you’re fat, you must always be hungry. When I’d complain to my mom about my overweight status she’d blow it off. “Oh you're just big boned, that’s all.” Though I know now that my bones are no bigger than the girl’s sitting next to me, at the time it was comforting phrase (Thanks Mom).

As I became a teen I lived in that middle area of loving my body and hating every single ounce of it. It’s a constant struggle to look at what's following behind you, then pour over an issue of Seventeen Magazine. Everywhere were I looked I saw a specific image that made me feel worthless. If being skinny was normal and healthy, than what was I?

Sophomore year became the year I lost a little of myself. My best friend, who was never actually fat, began to lose an increasing amount of weight. I was jealous. I wanted guys to talk to me like they did her. Why didn’t they think I was attractive? The only attention I got was less than satisfactory comments about the size of my ass.

I had never been completely comfortable in my skin, but I hadn’t really thought about changing it either. I began to wonder, what was I doing wrong? Should I be making a solid attempt to empty that proverbial junk in my trunk?

I began looking at food in a whole other light. I could sacrifice that pizza I liked to eat for lunch, couldn’t I? No harm in that. Why don’t I just skip breakfast? Who said it was the most important meal? I could function just fine without it. Then it slowly became an obsession. How many calories were in that apple on the counter? If I ate four carrot sticks, would I gain anything? I weighed myself everyday and if I didn’t like the results, I somehow managed to eat even less the following day.

Of course I lost a little weight, began throwing junk straight out the window like it was nobody’s business. But was I happy? When I became honest with myself?

Hell no!

I’m a food lover by nature. I like to eat. When I took that joy away, I felt even worse about myself than I did before. It wasn’t easy, but I eventually made a conscious decision to stop the hating and feel confident in the body I had.

So how do you get to that point? The path is different for everyone.It could be as easy as changing your own mind or as difficult as changing your whole life style. But there are 5 simple rules, regardless of the level you’re at, that could help you on your way to realizing your inner rockstar potential.

Rule #1. Stop caring about media’s perspective.

We live in a superficial world. Thin is in, it always has been, and sadly it always will be. That model on the cover of your favorite magazine? She’s not real. And if she is, she either doesn’t eat much, lives on a treadmill 14 hours a day, or is probably just plain miserable.

It’s a sad little catch 22. We see skinny, pretty women as the role model we must all follow. This opinion is cemented in our heads from the day we’re born. We can’t help to judge people’s worth by the way that they look, when that’s all we’ve ever known. So we worship and idolize these women and want to be just like them. We hang their picture on our walls as a reminder of how we lack and call it motivation. And those women? They feel the pressure too. They change themselves to be what they think we all want them to be. Then the media exploits them for their own entertainment value and the circle of degenerate, wildly unrealistic opinions about beauty continue.

Let it stop with you. Close your eyes to the expectation that you must resemble what they put in front of you. It’s not true.

Rule #2. Start a love affair. With yourself.

What quality do you have that you love the most? It can be superficial or deep within. Whatever it is, build off of it, make it the center of your attention. So what if your butt’s a little larger than you’d like it to be? You have a great smile. Who cares if your thighs rub together? You still have that amazing shower voice that you can belt like you’re the next Mariah.

Eat your heart out American Idol.

Guaranteed, once you focus on the good, you’ll find several other qualities you adore about yourself that you didn’t even know you had.

Rule #3. Think positive.

First step in positivity is filling your life with real people who inspire you. Which also means you need to purge yourself of the ones who don’t. Erase that picture you have of that aforementioned model; whether she's in your head, on your phone, or taped to your mirror. She’s an unrealistic, and most likely unattainable projection of what you think you should look like. It’s hurting you way more than it’s helping you.

You know that barista at your favorite coffee shop, the one with the rocking hair cut and happy go lucky attitude that you’ve always been strangely drawn to? Ever wonder why she seems like she’s got it together? There’s really nothing extra special about her. Yeah, she’s got nice hair but that's nothing to go all girl crush over. Do you want to know her secret? Besides the fact she's sipping a daily dose of coffee-crack?

She exudes confidence.

She wears it on her sleeve like she wants the world to see it. That’s the kind of woman you should find inspiring. The type you should form a bond with. And of course she can probably give you free coffee and there’s nothing like an awesome cup of joe to make you feel positive.

Rule #4. Be your kind of healthy.

Whatever that is for you.You love to eat? Go for it. Want to have that cinnamon bun to go with your cup of coffee your new friend gave you? Eat it up. You can even lick the frosting off your fingers if you want, we won’t judge. Just understand that, “we are what we eat”. I know it’s an annoying phrase, but it’s true. What you put in your body is what you’ll get out of it. That’s something that I had to realize for myself in order to get to my healthy place.

I have a favorite workout tank top I like to wear. On the front, is one of those corny sayings that you just can’t help but love. Will Workout For Cupcakes is strewn across it in a loopy font, along with a ginormous cartoon of a cupcake. What do I love about it so much? It’s true. I’m putting all of that hard work into the gym so I can eat things like cupcakes (and french fries, my real weakness) and be my kind of healthy.

So you need to ask yourself, what’s your healthy? Is it joining a gym? Maybe walking the block at night? Or is it just having a dance party in your room complete with your fav pink pjs, and you and Timberlake bringing sexy back? Whatever it is, it’s important that it works for you. Even if it isn’t your bestie’s idea of healthy. So what? If you feel better about yourself, then that’s what counts.

Rule #5. Be supportive.

Every time I drive down the street and see a girl who’s walking or running, that's obviously making an attempt at a healthier lifestyle, I feel the need to yell encouragements out the window like, “you go girl” or “rock on”. I don’t actually do it though. Chances are she’d think I was a deranged lunatic before she’d take it as support. But seriously, there really is nothing like cheering on someone else to make you feel better about yourself.

Start with the people closest to you. So, your best friend has decided to start her own company. You’re pretty great when it comes to marketing, right? Hey, all those Instagram posts about how you’re obsessed with that new shampoo has to count for something. After all, you did get 20 more followers out of it. Offer to help come up with a strategy to get the word out about her product. She’ll get free publicity, you’ll get a warm and fuzzy feeling inside for doing something for her. It’s a win win.

Your neighbor needs a tuesday night art class partner. It’s something she’s always wanted to try, but is too scared to do it alone. Okay, so you realized you’re not the next Georgia O’Keefe. But, you did get to spend time encouraging someone else to take a leap into something that they may’ve never done otherwise. Plus you got a new abstract painting for your room. Bonus! It’s okay that it wasn’t supposed to be a bunch of blurry lines.

Whether your a rule follower, or a breaker who throws caution to the wind, remember that we’re all in this together. Each one of us has insecurities that we magnify in our minds until they’re all we can think about.

So, throw that magazine in the trash. Turn up the radio and belt that tune. Tell that barista how cool you think she is. Do the Whip and Nae Nae until your feet are numb. Yell “you're awesome!” out the window at that girl trucking down the street like the zombie apocalypse is close on her heels. You’ll find once you stop concentrating on what you lack in, it’s a lot easier to see the rock star potential you’ve had all along.